Memory
by Baylee Shadow
Summary: Naomi forces Dean to remember his escape from Hell; specifically how he hurt Cas... One-shot drabble thing. DESTIEL!


Memory

**A/N: OMG hey guys! It's been a while hasn't it? Anyway, this was originally meant to be a short drabble about Dean remembering being rescued from Hell but well... it kinda expanded into a proper one-shot. Please R&R! **

White blinding light surrounded Dean, his bedroom disappearing in front of him. Suddenly the light was gone. Dean blinked, trying to restore his vision. It wasn't long before his surroundings faded into view. He was strapped to what resembled a dentist's chair, in a very white, clinical office.

"Ah, Dean, you're awake." A cold voice said.  
Dean twisted his neck and caught a glimpse of the woman who had spoken. She was dressed smartly, her brown hair pulled up in a tight bun.

"Who are you? What do you want?" the hunter snarled, straining against his bonds.

The woman smiled, "Now, now, Dean Winchester. Manners." She raised an eyebrow, walking around so that she was directly in front of Dean. "My name is Naomi. And–"

"Naomi!" Dean spat, "So you're the bitch who's been messing with Cas."

Naomi frowned, "I don't appreciate your tone, Dean." She said, "I only did what was best."

"What was best?" Dean laughed harshly, "Brain-washing Cas and the other angels? Making him kill his own brother? And try to kill me?" he laughed again. "Oh yeah, bang up job on that one."

Naomi scowled, her nostrils flaring dangerously. She took a deep breath before speaking, "Dean," her voice was calm and sickeningly sweet. "I really wish you wouldn't interrupt me. As I was saying, I only did what was necessary. Castiel had destroyed Heaven, we needed him to help fix his mistakes." She smiled, "But that is not why you're here."

"Oh yeah?" Dean snarled, "Then why am I here? Just wanted a little chat? Cup of tea, maybe?"

Naomi sighed before reaching over and slapping Dean. "I told you to stop interrupting." She said, her voice as calm as ever. "Now, you're here because you have to stop." She raised a hand as Dean opened his mouth, silencing him yet again. "You have to stop what you're doing to Castiel."

"I haven't done anything to Cas!" Dean snapped, outraged. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about?" Naomi's voice began to rise. "Do you know what you've done to him? All the pain you've put him through?" Naomi paused, glaring at Dean. The hunter glared back, a bewildered look still upon his face. "Everything you have ever done, Castiel has had to pay for. He has always been there to clean up your messes, and what do you do? You corrupted him, Dean!" she was nearly yelling. "You poisoned him with your ideas of Free Will. He became compromised, confused. He turned away from his family. Killed his own brothers and sisters. _All because of you_." Naomi's voiced dropped to a snarl. "He has been broken ever since he laid eyes upon you in Hell. And yet you continue to hurt him."

Dean glared at Naomi. "Now, I don't know about you, bitch, but I actually care about Cas. He's like family to me. From what I've seen, you only want to use him to get what you want. Now, that doesn't seem very caring to me."

Naomi snarled, "You talk to me about caring? _You?_" she laughed, "After what you did to him in Hell?"

Dean frowned, "What are you talking about?"

Naomi paused, confused. "You don't know?" her eyes widened in shock. "You really don't know what you did to Castiel." She said, more of a statement than a question. "Well then, I'll just have to show you…" she reached over and placed three fingers on Dean's forehead, releasing his memories of Hell.

_It was cold, so very cold. And yet burning hot. His skin was on fire, pain lanced through every fibre of his being. His own soul was laid bare to the torments of Hell. He grinned maliciously and raised the whip. The screams that filled his ears made him laugh with glee. Finally, he was the one in control. He was no longer at their mercy, no longer on that terrible rack. Now he was the one they feared. He raised the whip again, bringing it down on writhing flesh. The sickening sound of bones shattering and ripping flesh was music to his ears. For so very long his entire world had been pain and darkness. He relished it. Loved the darkness and the screams. He loved being in control, loved the power he had. And then, everything changed. A burning white light appeared in the distance. He watched as four beings tumbled down through the dark, fighting with the hundreds of demons that sprang up at them. Two fell, screaming as they went. Their lights flickered and died. Two were left; they fought past hundreds and hundreds of demons, and yet still more came. They were close enough now that he could see them; burning figures of pure white light, magnificent creatures. He could see their wings, outstretched as far as his eyes could see. More and more demons leapt up to them, biting and tearing at their light. Screams pierced his ears; demon screams. And then, one of the creatures faltered. They screamed, the sound so beautiful and terrible it stopped many demons in its tracks. But not all. The creature fell, its wings burning with hellfire until its light went out. There was only one left. He watched as it fought its way past the thousands of demons that now crawled up to it. It could've been days or years but suddenly the creature was before him. He bared his teeth and raised his whip. This creature had no right being here. It didn't belong in his world. Without another thought he brought the whip down on the creature. With a crack the weapon whistled through the air and caught on the creature's wings. He pulled viciously, smiling at the satisfying crack he heard. Feathers were everywhere, pulled from the wing he had just broken. The creature screamed in pain, making him laugh with joy. He brought the whip down again, catching the other wing. He broke it too, laughing at the creature's pain. The creature moved closer to him, arms outstretched. He stepped closer himself. He scooped up hellfire and threw it. The creature's wings caught fire and soon the stench of burning flesh met his nostrils. Yet still, the creature advanced.  
"Dean." The voice was soft and gentle. He snarled as it reached his ears. He was used to screams and harsh words. "Dean." The voice said again. "Please. I want to help. I'm here to get you out. I'm here to rescue you." Rescue him? Why would he want to leave? He blinked, old memories stirring. No. How dare this creature come here and fill his head with this. This pain. He faltered, his whip slipping from his fingers. "Dean." The voice was still there, softer still. He heard the sound of pity as the creature said his name. He fell to his knees, his mind a whirl. He could hear demons screaming as the light burned them. He could hear his master shouting at him to attack. The creature was right in front of him now. "Dean." The voice said again. He could make out the shape of an arm reaching towards him. "It's okay. You're safe now…" the creature placed its hand on his shoulder. The light filled his vision, a searing pain rippled through him from his shoulder and then he knew no more… _

Dean blinked and he was back in Naomi's office. There were tears in his eyes as he turned his head to glare at Naomi. "You bitch." He snarled. He opened his mouth to continue but Naomi cut him off.

"Do you know now what you've done to Castiel? Do you know how dangerous you are to him?" she said. "You need to let Castiel go. Leave him and never return." She paused, making sure Dean caught her every word. "You will be the death of him, Dean Winchester."

White light blinded his vision yet again and then Dean was sitting in his bedroom, alone. "Oh Cas." He murmured, glancing upwards. "I'm so, so sorry." And suddenly he couldn't keep the tears back any longer. They flowed freely down his cheeks. It was his fault. He had hurt Cas. It was his fault Cas had turned. His fault Cas had been forced to kill his own kind. His fault. All his fault. Dean placed his head in his hands, struggling to find the words. Without really thinking he silently reached out to his angel. Trying to voice what had happened, and how sorry he was. "Cas…" the name slipped from his lips. The hunter took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He almost didn't notice the familiar sound of wings that filled the room.

"Hello, Dean." The voice washed over Dean. He stood up and walked over to Castiel. Without a word the hunter pulled his angel into a tight hug.

"Dean…" Castiel asked, "What are you doing? Is everything alright?"

Dean laughed, wiping away tears. "Not really, Cas." He said, pulling away. "I-I just…" he turned away, suddenly embarrassed.

"What happened, Dean?" Cas asks, with his customary head tilt.

Dean sat down on the bed. "Naomi happened." He took a deep breath and told Cas what Naomi had showed him. "Is it true, Cas? Did…. Did I do that to you?"

Castiel looked at Dean sadly, "Yes." He said.

"Then she was right?" Dean muttered, staring at the angel in shock. "It's all my fault. Everything that's happened to you. It was me."

Cas frowned, "No it wasn't Dean. Don't you ever say that again. None of this was your fault."

Dean shook his head. "Yeah it was, Cas. Don't lie." He glanced away, "Hey, man, I geddit. I'll- you can go. I-… I won't call you again. I understand."

Castiel frowned again, moving closer to Dean. "I don't understand, Dean. Why do you think I wish to leave?"

Dean laughed harshly, "It's alright, Cas. You don't have to pretend. I'm not worth it. You must hate me for what I did."

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you, Dean." Cas said.

"I told you, man. You don't have to lie." Dean replied, still not meeting the angel's eyes.

"I'm not lying." Cas murmured.

Dean still wouldn't meet his eyes. "Can I–?" he cleared his throat. "Can I see them?"

Cas frowns. "What do you mean?"

"Your wings…" Dean's eyes flickered up to meet Castiel's. "What I did to them… I need to see it."

Castiel frowned, thinking. He nodded slowly. "Very well. But Dean, know this, showing my wings isn't something I do lightly." The angel pauses. "It's very personal. And it also makes me vulnerable. It's a sign of the utmost trust." Dean opened his mouth, probably to protest that he didn't deserve this trust, but Castiel silenced him with a look. The angel stood up and walked over to the other side of the room. He shrugged off his coat, letting it drop to the floor. His jacket, shirt at tie followed. There was a flash of light and Dean saw the shadows of his wings splayed across the wall. Another flash of light was followed by the rustling of feathers. Dean blinked, clearing is vision. As he opened his eyes he was greeted by the sight of Castiel standing before him with a pair of twisted and blackened wings protruding from his shoulder blades. Dean gasped, his eyes scanning every feather. They were all black, stained by the fires of Hell. They were also mangled, scars twisting along the skin under the feathers.

"Oh Cas…" Dean said, tears once again filling his eyes. "I did this?"

Cas glanced away, suddenly embarrassed. His wings fluttered, drawing in slightly. He nodded once. "I didn't want you to see them, Dean." He said.

Dean frowned, "You're ashamed of them." he murmured, wishing he had never met this beautiful angel before him, that he had never hurt him.

"No Dean." Cas replied. "I am not ashamed. They are a mark I wear with pride."

Dean looked away, "_I _did this to you, Cas. I hurt you."

"Why do you think so little of yourself, Dean?" Cas asked, stepping closer. "Do you really think you don't deserve forgiveness? That you don't deserve to be loved?"

Dean froze, his eyes flickering up to meet Cas'. "I don't, Cas. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve anything from you. By all rights you should hate me after what I did to you."

"Well you have my forgiveness, Dean. You have my friendship. And you _do _deserve it. You deserve so much more than you have, Dean. You've done so much for so little in return. You have faced Hell for your brother. You stopped the apocalypse. You've saved the world time and time again but yet you don't think you deserve this?"

"I don't!" Dean snapped. "In case you'd forgotten, I was the one who started the freakin' apocalypse in the first place!" he was yelling now. "I got my dad killed! I've hurt so many people. And now I find out that I hurt you too. How can you say I deserve this? How can you forgive me so easily?"

Cas couldn't take it anymore. He leapt forward and grabbed Dean's shirt, pulling them together. He smashed his lips over Dean's, trying to put everything he felt in to that one action. Dean froze in shock, his brain trying to process what had just happened. Suddenly it hit him; Cas was kissing him. Cas! And then he was kissing him back. Dean's hand snaked around Cas' neck, pulling him even closer. Cas fell into the hunter's lap, their lips still interlocked. The angel's wings splayed outward and then closed around the pair, almost as if they were hugging Dean. Dean smiled slightly as he felt Castiel's wings buffet gently against his back. His hand dropped down to rest on the angel's hip bones, holing him close. Dean's tongue snaked out, gently licking at Cas' lips. The angel complied with his hunter's wishes. Dean smiled into the kiss as his tongue slowly explored Cas' mouth. The angel moaned as Deans' tongue met his own. Dean squeezed his hips gently, enjoying the warmth that spread through him. This was what he needed. This. Here. Now. He needed Cas. He needed Cas like this, with him. He couldn't stand it if he lost Cas again. He needed him more than ever. Almost as if he heard Dean Cas pulled away, letting their foreheads rest together. The angel reached up and cupped Dean's face with both his hands.

"I'm here, Dean. I won't leave you again. I promise."  
Dean smiled, his green eyes never leaving Cas' own. "Good." He murmured before pulling his angel into another kiss. This time Cas was the one who licked at Dean's lips, asking for entrance. Dean chuckled softly, snaking his own tongue out to meet Cas'. His hands gripped the angel's hips tightly, pulling him even closer. Cas curled his hands into fits, clutching tightly at Dean's shirt. He growled. The hunter was wearing too many layers. Dean laughed, catching the angel's drift. He broke away from Cas' mouth, running a line of kisses down his jaw to his neck. Cas arched his head backwards and moaned. His hands fumbled at Dean's shirt, just managed to push it off the hunter's shoulders. Dean quickly shrugged his shirt off and threw it across the room. Breaking away for a split second the hunter quickly removed his t-shirt, which joined the pile of clothes on the floor. He grabbed Cas by the hips again and pulled him close. He could feel the angel's growing erection against his own. Dean moaned slightly, enjoying the friction. Cas smirked before leaning down to capture Dean's lips in another kiss, tangling his long fingers in the hunter's hair. He rocked back gently, allowing Dean's moans of pleasure to guide him. Dean's hands gripped tighter, digging into Cas' hips. The angel detangled his hands and moved them down to cover Dean's. He lifted them gently, guiding them up his sides. Dean relaxed his grip and allowed his angel to pull his hands upwards. He couldn't help but gasp when his fingers brushed past soft feathers. Cas moaned at the contact, arching into Dean's touch. Dean broke away and stared up at his angel, grinning. He moved his hand again, caressing the join between feathers and flesh. Cas closed his eyes, his moans growing louder.

"Dean." He growled, grinding harder into Dean's lap. Dean chuckled, moving his fingers along the feathers. Dean painstakingly examined Cas' wings. Running his hands over every feather, every scar. Cas' moans grew louder and louder, his hands digging painfully into the hunter's shoulders.

"That feel good?" Dean asked, almost teasing.

"Dean." Cas growled again. He opened his eyes and stared at his hunter, the warning clear. Dean shushed him gently, breaking off the angel's protests with another kiss. The hunter's hands dropped from the angel's wings, moving straight to his belt. Cas shifted slightly, allowing Dean to unbutton his belt and trousers. They joined the other clothes on the floor. Dean's pants where next, Cas fumbling in his haste to unfasten them. Dean hissed slightly as the cool air hit his now prominent erection but it didn't stop him from stripping Cas of his last remaining item of clothing. Finally shed of all attire Dean grabbed Cas again. Without warning the hunter flipped his angel onto his back, straddling him. Cas growled softly, but he was smiling. The angel shifted slightly, splaying his wings out completely. Dean kissed him quickly before leaning back to take in the image of _his _angel spread out before him. Cas stared up at him, his blue eyes piercingly bright and his hair sticking up at odd angles. Dean smiled, his first genuine smile in a very long time. Cas tilted his head, a silent question in his eyes. In response Dean leaned down and kissed him again. Cas responded eagerly, leaning up to meet Dean's lips. The angel's hand stroked Dean's chest, slowly circling lower and lower. Dean groaned into Cas' lips as the angel's fingers brushed against his cock. The hunter began to explore Cas' body with his own hands, earning many moans of pleasure from the angel. Dean returned to exploring Cas' neck with his tongue, relishing in the moans he received as he found the spot just near the angel's collarbone. Dean reached down and grabbed Cas' cock, curling his fingers around the thick shaft. Cas arched into his grip, Dean's name springing from his lips.  
"Dean. Please!"  
Dean smirked, "What, Cas?"  
"Fuck. DEAN!"  
Hearing the angel curse turned Dean on in ways he had never imagined. "Say it." He hissed into Cas' ear.  
"Fuck. Dean." Cas panted, "I need. You… _fuck. _Fuck me, Dean. Now." His voice was low and insistent. Dean knew that if he kept teasing, Cas would easily take control.

The hunter kissed his angel, "As you wish." Dean reached blindly for his bedside table. He pulled open the drawer and fumbled around before pulling out his lube and a condom. "You ready?" he asked, waiting for Cas' nod before pouring a generous amount onto his fingers. Kissing his angel again Dean pressed a finger to Cas' entrance. Cas arched backwards as Dean pressed into him, his hands gripping at the sheets. The angel's eyes fluttered closed and he moaned, low and insistent; Dean could feel the vibrations reverberate through Cas' body. Slowly, Dean added a second finger, eliciting another moan. A third finger soon followed. Cas rolled his hips against Dean, fucking himself on the hunter's fingers. Dean leant into Cas gently, finally hitting that bundle of nerves. Cas threw his head back, Dean's name once again ripped from his lips.

"Dean." His voice was hoarse.  
"Shh, Cas. I know." Dean murmured, slowly withdrawing his fingers. Cas whimpered at the loss of contact. Dean shushed him again, ripping open the condom. After applying substantial amounts of lube he lined himself up carefully. The hunter glanced as Cas, waiting for the angel's nod before gently pressing himself into his entrance. Cas' breath hitched as Dean entered him. The hunter pulled Cas' hips upwards, wrapping the angel's legs around his waist.

"Jesus Christ, Cas, you're tight." Dean panted.

"Just move." Cas growled.

Dean complied, steadily pulling back before thrusting into the angel again. It took all of Dean's self-control to keep his pace steady. The sight of his angel laid out before him, glistening with sweat and heaving with desire nearly had him undone then and there. Another thrust had Cas whimpering and shaking beneath him. Dean thrust again, hitting the angel's prostate. An incoherent cry burst from the angel's lips as he rolled his hips again, wanting more. Dean smirked, picking up the pace. He wasn't far; he could already feel his abdomen tightening, wanting release. Cas was closer, his eyes were half open and he was muttering a mixture of Enochian and English. Dean's name repeated regularly. Dean leaned closer, one hand intertwining with Cas'. With his other Dean gripped Cas' cock, pumping the angel's shaft in time with his thrusts. Cas was almost screaming his name now, reduced to a writhing mess beneath the hunter. With one more thrust Cas came undone between them, Dean's name on his lips like a prayer. Cas' orgasm was it for Dean. The angel clenched tightly around the hunter's length, forcing Dean to come, Cas' name bursting from his lips. Dean closed his eyes and rode it out, enjoying the feeling of bliss that filled him.  
"Oh, God, Cas!" he moaned, pressing their foreheads together. Cas smiled in response, his own chest heaving. Dean slowly eased out of the angel and rolled over to lie beside him. Cas leaned over and pressed their lips together.

Dean sighed and closed his eyes, content. Cas brushed his fingers over Dean's chest, cleaning them both up instantly. "Thanks, Cas." Dean murmured. Cas snuggled closer to his hunter in reply, curling his wings around both of them.

"I love you, Dean." Cas muttered softly.

"Love you too, angel."


End file.
